Wicked Proposal Read online

  Gradually, the waves subsided. He stood up with a pleased smile and leaned over my body to press a fierce kiss on my mouth. I could taste myself on his lips. The taste was unlike anything I'd ever tasted before, and I licked my lips. It wasn't unpleasant, by any means. He stared at my lips and bent down to trail his tongue over my lips as well. I deepened the kiss, wanting to get the full taste, to experience it for myself. His mouth tasted like a heady mix of Jake and myself.

  The next thing I knew, he was lifting me up, murmuring something about a bad angle. Soon my back was pressed against the door again.

  He peppered kisses along my neck. "Jesus, Sophie. You're so smart and funny and sweet and so damn...sexy."

  There was a desperate note in his voice that was intoxicating.

  I needed him. All of him. I took the sides of his shirt and pulled. The buttons flew and hit the floor like rain on the sidewalk. I bent down and circled my tongue around his tight nipple before giving it a flick. He groaned and to my astonishment I could feel the need rising up again. Seconds later I heard the unmistakable sound of a zipper.

  "I can't wait. I'm sorry." Frustration filled his voice.

  It was a wasted apology because I wanted him inside me as much as he wanted to be there. Desire lapped at my focus me as he took my leg in his arm. The need for more consumed me. I dispensed with all sense of reason and wrapped my legs around his waist. He groaned, a tortured sound, right before he lifted my ass slightly and slid inside me. Despite me being so wet, his length filled me completely. It was a good feeling though. Full but without pain.

  He waited a moment, his face tense with barely restrained lust. At first he went slow, giving me time to adjust. Impatient, I moved up and down on him. Apparently, that did it. With a growl he slammed me down on him, going faster until his thighs slapped mine as they came down to meet his thrusts.

  It seemed like a wild, out of control fucking, but he was in control through it all. As he moved in and out of me, it was that control that was the hottest thing of all. I was his for the taking and he took everything I had to give and more. The realization that he could do anything he wanted to me and I would let him was like gasoline to my fire and it shot me to the stars. I screamed, and he clamped his mouth over mine. I kissed him deep as my muscles pulsed and quivered around him. He gave one more thrust before he was moaning his own release into my mouth.

  Long after our orgasms subsided, he kept his lips locked on mine but it had become a beautifully lazy kiss of satisfaction. A promise of things to come.

  Chapter 5

  "Excuse me," I said to the bag that managed to smack itself upside my face before I got a chance to raise a hand to deflect it.

  "Hey, mind watching that?" Jake's muscular arm came up to put a shield between me and the bag.

  All sorts of warm fuzzies cocooned me at his protective actions. He smiled down at me and winked. The fuzzies responded by flying around inside me, making me giggle like a school girl.

  I'd been so happy this past week it was even starting to make me sick. There was one problem on the happiness radar though. I wasn't sure what this whole thing meant to Jake. To me it was the beginning of a real relationship, the possibility of a future together. From the way Jake had been acting though, I was starting to get the feeling he didn't have any Happily Ever Afters in mind. Like the paranoid girl I'd become, I had tried to steer our conversations towards things that didn't have to do with sex, like interests, hobbies, or even the weather for Christ's sake. But it seemed like every time I did he would steer the conversation back to sex.

  As if to reinforce my thoughts, he sidled up to me and leaned down to whisper in my ear, "I can't wait to get you to the hotel room. The things I'm going to do to you..."

  Despite my reservations, a shiver of delight ran up my spine at his words and nearness. The contradicting feelings pulled at my insides. I mustered a small smile for his benefit before turning to pull my suitcase from the overhead compartment. I didn't know what I was going to do.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I watched the object of my thoughts move in and out of a halo of light coming in from the tiny airplane window as he pulled his own carry-on down from above. After we both had our luggage, we went back to our row to repack a couple things we'd taken out during the flight.

  As I stuffed my things in, I reminded myself of the decision I'd made last night. If Jake didn't want a relationship, I was going to walk away. No matter how much drama it caused, it also meant throwing in the towel on this joint-sales gig. I didn't care if people asked questions. It was the only way to get out with a shred of my heart intact. Because I couldn't kid myself any longer. I'd fallen hard for Jake. Maybe it was his years worth of coming in and making my insides quake. Maybe it was our mind-blowing week together. Whatever it was, I didn't know. And frankly, I didn't care either. I had to look at the facts. The fact was that I couldn't be around him every day knowing that he didn't love me too. Just the thought made my chest hurt. I looked down and pretended to tie my tennis shoes until the feeling had passed. Well, passed enough to where I knew it wasn't going to be plastered all over my face for him to see.

  I looked up just as he turned his head to me and nodded to the people shuffling down the isle, "You ready?"

  "You bet," I said, trying to look like I meant it.

  We grabbed our suitcases and joined the shuffling procession. Before I knew it we were making our way down the loading bridge. The air whistled loud through the spaces as we made our way to the terminal. Then all too soon, the narrow hall opened to the airport terminal. The other passengers stalled as they spilled into the cavernous room, as if they didn't know what to do now that they'd finally reached their destination. I could certainly feel them there.

  Jake moved around them, never breaking stride. I followed suit. We went on like that, moving in and out of people like salmon swimming upstream, for so long I lost track. Either it was that or I just didn't have the ability to focus on our surroundings anymore. Who could blame me though. Jake was one hell of a distraction with those broad shoulders shifting under his butter cream dress shirt like that.

  I mentally shook myself. I had to stay away from him sexually if I was going to be able to make a clear-headed decision about this mess. Otherwise, before I knew it, I'd be kidding myself that he really did love me, and it would be a million times worse when he left. Heck, if I'd been thinking clearly, I should have put the breaks on this last week when I first noticed it. But stupid me and my lack of ability to think past Jake's mouth. All it took was one kiss, and I forgot my name, never mind any convictions about my emotional wellbeing.

  My mental kicking was interrupted by Jake veering out of the stream of passengers and stopping. Thank god because if I kept going at the rate I had been, I was going to drive myself crazy. After a quick survey, I saw we were at a domed part in the hall that acted as a juncture for three separate halls. He looked at me with those amazing green eyes, and I couldn't help but admire how his dark features were a beautiful contrast to the brilliant white of the terminal walls.

  This was going to be harder than I thought.

  #

  The taxi came to a quiet halt in front of the hotel. With smooth movements, he slipped out and reached a hand back in to help me out as well. My heart did a little flip, and I tried to scold myself. I must have been staring at his hand longer than I'd thought because he ducked his head in. The wind from passing cars tousled his hair. His lips crooked up at the corners when he saw me just staring at his hand. No doubt about it, he was the most beautiful man I had ever met.

  The sounds of the city floated in behind him. "Everything ok?"

  When he phrased it like that, how could it not be?

  "Absolutely." I couldn't keep the silly smile off my face as I put my hand in his.

  I couldn't help but notice how small it looked in his. He always did make me feel so feminine. With those melt-my-bones muscles I'd become so familiar with, he pulled me across the leather seats and int
o the chill of the city air.

  He replaced the cold with the warmth of his arms as he pulled me close. I breathed in deep the musky smell that was so Jake. I had almost convinced myself that maybe he did want more when he leaned in close.

  "I'm need to bury myself in you." He pulled away and looked deep into my eyes. "I need to hear you scream."

  The cold air stung my throat as I sucked in a sharp breath. I don't know whether it was the desire burning in his eyes or the naughtiness of his words, but I wanted to run to the room and give him exactly what he wanted.

  This was bad. Bad, bad, bad. We had just stepped onto the sidewalk, and already I felt the need to put my hands on him. To make matters worse, almost every word out of his mouth had to do with sex. Nothing to do with romance or love or even friendship for that matter. Just sex. No matter how good the sex was I couldn't do just sex. Not with Jake.

  He interrupted my thoughts with a brief kiss that pulled at my heart.

  The with a grin and a wink he let me go and shouldered his bag. "Shall we?"

  Might as well, I grabbed the handle of my suitcase and turned to the door. Embarrassment colored my face as I realized there was a doorman standing patiently with the door open. He had a kind smile on his face though, so I gave him one of my own as I entered the elegant hotel. My mind wasn't on the crystal chandelier as we passed under it or the over-stuffed brocade chairs as we passed by a cluster of them though. It was on the man whose presence I could feel next to me as clearly as if he were touching me. What was I going to do?

  We came to a receptionist with too-big glasses. You could tell from her precise make-up that she thought the glasses were stylish. I tried not to doubt the fashion sense of her whole generation as she looked up from her computer.

  Her smile was less genuine than the doorman's, but present nonetheless. "May I help you?"

  Jake placed his license on the counter. "We have reservations for two rooms."

  The click of keys echoed in the huge space.

  "Would you like adjoining rooms?" She pause from typing and pushed up her glasses.

  I could feel my cheeks flame at the question. Did she guess we were sleeping together?

  "That won't be necessary." My quick answer was no doubt damning in and of itself, but I clamped my lips together and stuck with it.

  To her credit, she didn't react, simply went back to typing. "Ok, that'll be room 210 and room 286 then."

  I didn't need to look over to know Jake's eyebrows had shot up in surprise. He didn't say anything. I hadn't expected him to make a scene in front of the reservations lady, but at the same time, I was kind of disappointed he didn't even say a word. I don't know why. Maybe I wanted him to fight for me.

  We got our room keys and made our way up the elevator without a word. I think he may have been trying to process what was going on. God knows I'd been trying to do the same thing all week.

  The elevator bell dinged and we headed down the hall, the silence following us like a noisy crowd. I wanted to clamp my hands over my ears. I couldn't stand it. We stopped at the intersection of the hall. One sign pointed to my room being down the hall on the left and another showed his being farther ahead still.

  The implication of my words downstairs sat heavy on my chest as we stared at each other. I guess I'd already opened the door to this mess. It would only hurt more if I let the wound fester only for it to bleed again later.

  I took a deep breath and said "I have to-"

  Right as he said, "Is there something-"

  We both laughed, an awkward sound in the carpeted hall. Even though it was nervous laughter, the air was noticeably less tense when it died away. I breathed a little easier and I started again.

  "Jake, I've had the most amazing week with you--"

  "Same here," he said, with a cautious smile on his face.

  "--but I have to ask..." I held me breath before going on in a rush. "Where do you see this going?"

  When he stared at me a little blankly, I tried again, "Our...relationship? Where do you see it going?"

  There. I'd said it. I'd used the "R" word and everything.

  "I think we have a unique and beautiful thing," he said with slow words.

  His words felt like a blow to my heart. I could hear the 'but' coming. Even though I'd guessed as much, it didn't mean it hurt any less.

  "That being said, I think what makes it so beautiful is its simplicity." He continued on. "Why muck it up with feelings?"

  "Muck it up with feelings?" I repeated, unable to come to grips with what I was hearing.

  "You know what I mean." He gestured with his hands as if they could help me understand. "Can't we just enjoy each other and that be enough?"

  My heart fell through the floor, but I nodded, knowing anything I could say wouldn't change his mind. Of course it wasn't enough. It wasn't even close to enough. I wanted to be with him. Much more than in the physical sense. There was nothing simple about the emotions that twisted inside me when I thought of him not being a part of my future.

  He stepped forward and dropped his hands to my arms. He massaged them with a kind look in his eyes.

  "Here, you're probably just tired from the trip. Why don't you rest some, and we'll meet back up when you're feeling better."

  I nodded, unable to accept what was happening. Part of me wanted to have a reaction. Something to make this whole thing seem more real. Less like a dream. As it was, I couldn't feel anything but numbness as I walked down the hall and took my key out. I could feel him staring as I inserted the key and watched the light on the lock turn green, but I couldn't bring myself to look back into his pitying face. I could at least pretend to be strong.

  I walked into the room without a backward glance. It was a pleasant enough room, but none of the details the designer had worked so hard on registered as I set my bag on the bed. Acting on instinct alone, I took a stack of clothes out of my suitcase. As I looked around the room for the dresser, I wondered at why I had taken them out. I didn't have energy to put them away. Instead, I sat down on the bed, cradling the clothes in my arms.

  And that was all it took, my arms wrapped around the clothes without a home and sitting on a bed countless lovers had been on before. Sadness washed over me like boiling syrup being dumped over my head. It hurt. I wanted to get out of my skin. Out of my head. Away from my broken heart.

  Hot tears rolled down my face and dropped onto the clothes I hugged tight.

  How long I sat like that on the bed, crying and hugging the clothes, I didn't know. Slowly, my mental kicking turned to questions. I'd always been an action kind of girl.

  So what now? Did I ignore it? Continue on with how things had been and hoped he came to love me? Almost as soon as the thought came into my head, I rejected it. There was no way I could hang onto a thread of desperate hope when, in not so many words, he'd told me he only wanted a fling. Not when I wanted so much more. It would tear me apart.

  So what did I do? Did I dare be around him and go on calls to the customers we were here to visit despite everything that had happened this past week? No, I couldn't. I wasn't strong enough to pretend like nothing had happened, to pretend like I didn't love him with every fiber of my being. No, as embarrassing as it was, I had to leave. Like now. I had no idea what I was going to tell the people at work when I got back to Denver, but I couldn't think about that now. All that mattered was getting away. Then I could think about the catastrophe I had gotten myself in.

  I put the clothes back in my suitcase. I knew leaving was the right thing to do, but that didn't stop my heart from breaking into millions of pieces. It hurt as I tore a piece of paper from the hotel stationary and penned a quick note to Jake. And it hurt just as much as I tossed the pen back onto the table and left the room.

  As I wheeled my luggage to his room, I tried not to think about the note clutched tight in my hand. This was for the best. I couldn't do it face to face. This way I didn't have to live a lie, and he wouldn't feel obligated to "make things right
."

  His room was only down the hall from mine, but it seemed like I got there much sooner than I should have. For a few heartbeats, I stared at the front of his door, wishing. I wished I was a stronger person. I wished I could knock on the door and rant on him for crushing my heart. For being so selfish and not caring about how I felt. And part of me wished I could ask him if he thought he could love me, maybe some day.

  But that was the problem. I didn't want him to feel like he was forced to love me. I wanted him to want to love me. Was that so horrible? It was that thought that helped me slide the now-crumpled note under the door of his room along with my room key.

  I did a good job of not crying as I walked away from his door. It wasn't like the lack of tears was from any numbness either. Heck, it felt like my soul was bleeding out, leaving a thick trail behind me like a cord tied to him. But I kept my pace steady. It didn't matter how much it hurt or how heavy the loss was. I needed to be strong...for me.

  I even took the elevator.

  Every detail in the lobby seemed to scream at me as I walked across the cold tile. The chairs were curved with a cat's anger. The crystals on the chandelier were pointed, dagger-sharp. The only one who seemed to understand was the same kind doorman from before who held the door open for me. I nodded to him, thanking him with my eyes. He returned my nod with one of his own that seemed to say everything was going to be ok. As I stood on my tiptoes and threw up my arm to hail a cab, I could almost believe it.

  Being that I'd never hailed a cab in my life, I didn't expect the move to actually work, so I didn't bother to hide my surprise when after a couple moments a cab pulled up.